INTROVERT
CHRONICLES

What if “I’m an introvert” is less about who you are and more about who you’re protecting yourself from?

Recently, I’ve been exploring this question. Throughout my life, I’ve recognized my shyness and even accepted that I might be socially awkward. Understanding myself in this way, though, oftentimes made me feel flawed and abnormal. So, when the idea of an “introvert” became a norm, I finally began to feel a sense of relief. I had an explanation for why I am the way I am. 

I told myself I’m not good at small talk, not because I find it hard to converse about random topics but because I prefer more meaningful conversations. I reassured myself that my dislike of crowds wasn’t rooted in insecurities that I refused to face but in how draining large gatherings are. I convinced myself that my small circle of friends doesn’t reflect a failure to maintain relationships; instead, it’s evidence of my preference for deeper connections with a select few.

Telling myself these things, though they hold elements of truth, has made me question whether I’ve been using introversion as a defense mechanism. Do I really align with introverted tendencies or am I “protecting” myself from things that challenge me? 

This became a point of reflection for me in a recent conversation. Someone at work asked me if I’d be willing to lead a training seminar if I were offered $100K. My immediate answer was absolutely not. All I could think about was the anxiety I’d have to deal with, and no amount of money could force me to do something I didn’t want to do. There was nothing else to think about.

But then, something triggered me. A day before, I’d asked myself a similar question in a completely different context. Being that I self-publish books under a pen name because that’s the only way I feel comfortable putting my work out. I asked myself, what if someone wanted to pay me for my work, but only if I used my real name instead of a pen name? I couldn’t help but feel like a crazy person for even considering rejecting the hypothetical offer. Would I really miss out on that opportunity because of how fiercely I guard my privacy? Was this reluctance a reflection of my introversion—or was I hiding behind it?

The $100K example still doesn’t motivate me, but realizing that my default response to discomfort is avoidance has been unsettling. What if the walls I’ve built for self-protection are also limiting my ability to grow?

Introversion as a Defense Mechanism

An introvert is typically described as someone who prefers low-stimulation environments, focuses on internal thoughts and feelings, and recharges energy through solitude rather than social interaction. While these traits are considered the strengths of introversion, the other side can be downright detrimental. When the phrase, “I’m an introvert,” is used as a reason to avoid challenges, it shifts from being a genuine personality trait that supports well-being to an excuse for avoiding discomfort.

“I’m a poor communicator because I’m an introvert.”

 “I’ll take a lower grade on a paper for not reading it in front of the class because I’m an introvert.”

“I’m not going to practice networking or socializing no matter how many strategies I learn because I’m an introvert.”

I’ve said all of these, and while these statements might feel comforting in the moment, they reflect an avoidance of growth rather than an embrace of authentic introversion. Each claim allows me to hide behind the label and shield myself from the discomfort of challenging situations. By staying in my comfort zone that introversion provides, I convince myself I’m “protecting my peace,” and I ignore the fact that I’m stifling opportunities to improve.

This isn’t a new concept for me; I’ve long understood that struggle builds character. My fascination with revolutions reminds me that real change often arises from discomfort. Revolutions are born from collective suffering and a refusal to stay complacent. Similarly, personal growth stems from embracing discomfort, not avoiding it.

As introverts, we must face our anxiety head-on. Growth can only happen when we choose to step outside the walls we build to protect ourselves. Otherwise, our shield may become a prison, depriving us of opportunities, growth, and a life without regrets.

Discovering the Authentic Self

After my conversation at work, I asked those closest to me to describe my personality without mentioning introverted tendencies. The consensus: I’m humorous, aggressive, and decisive. Well, they said impatient, but I’m decisive because of my impatience.

I could easily accept being described as humorous and impatient, but assertive? That one feels odd to me How could they see me as assertive when I’m the same person who hides my pen name and avoids events with too many people? I don’t assert myself in any environment—or at least, that’s how I’ve always seen myself.

Even when I tell my coworkers that I’m shy and introverted, they don’t believe me. It’s mind-boggling. I just don’t see this assertive or “outgoing” person they seem to describe.

But their perception of me forced me to question whether I’ve underestimated certain aspects of myself. Have I been using introversion as a way to shield myself from my insecurities? What qualities have I been ignoring or failing to tap into—qualities that could already have taken me further in my journey?

My biggest question right now is, “Who am I without my excuse of being an introvert?”

Perhaps it’s time to stop hiding behind the label and start exploring the parts of myself I’ve overlooked. If my others see traits in me that I can’t yet recognize, maybe they’re worth discovering. The answer to “Who am I without my excuse of being an introvert?” might not just redefine how I see myself—but also how I choose to move through the world.

Beyond the Label

Introversion is not a flaw, it’s a spectrum of traits that, when embraced authentically, can foster creativity, focus, and meaningful connection. However, like any label, it can also become a mask that diminishes the broader, truer aspects of who we are.

As I’ve reflected on my own journey, I’ve realized that hiding behind introversion has kept me from stepping into opportunities that could lead to growth. Honestly, discovering the authentic self requires pushing past our comfort zones and questioning the narratives we tell ourselves.

It’s not about abandoning introversion or denying the aspects of ourselves that thrive in solitude and reflection. It’s about recognizing when the label stops being a source of empowerment and becomes an excuse for stagnation.

So, as I continue exploring the question of “Who am I without the excuse of being an introvert?” I challenge you to ask yourself the same. What potential have you overlooked by clinging to the comfort of labels? What could change if you stepped into the discomfort that leads to growth?

That is a scary idea, but the answers might surprise us both.